Are you feeling it? Things seem very heavy and serious right now. And to be fair, there is a lot to be concerned about. Just the other day it was reported that, in Nova Scotia, we are in for another six weeks of winter. And that is no joke.
I’m not sure about you, but recently I’ve found myself in a bit of a hole. It’s dank and dark and there’s no light at the end of this tunnel. I’ve been looking for ‘truth’ and been left wanting because everyone has their own version.
What I’ve realized is that if I want truth, I need to step away from the doom scrolling and do something that is life affirming. I know my version of truth: I am still here. I am okay in this moment. The people I love are okay. And life continues.
If I take another step back, I start to see that no one is wrong and no one is right. In fact, there’s no such thing as right but only right now. From this perspective, I notice my life-long habit of looking to external sources to tell me the answers or make me feel okay and accepted. Thing is, all anyone else really has is an opinion. Unfortunately, in a social media context, the expression of your opinion can become someone else’s bait. A sure-fire way to get hooked.
What if we were free to express what we feel without fear of someone else’s condemnation or that we might not be seen as ‘right’? How many voices are not even heard because the loudest and most privileged hold the megaphones?
What if the only point of expressing ourselves was to contribute our perspective as a means of creating connection? For me, that puts an entirely different lens on it. If I’m here to express my unique way of being in the world, with a purpose of seeking connection, it allows me to look for what we have in common, rather than what separates us.
I’m certainly not for everyone, and neither are you. And that’s okay. That’s as it should be. We are all the same but in different ways. If we’re expressing and seeking connection, then that entails looking for how we are the same, rather than trolling to assert our rightness and condemn the ways in which we are different.
Once we express ourselves in a way that invites connection, it becomes an act of creation, or even co-creation. We want to create a dialogue that celebrates our versions of truth. And everyone else is looking for their own version of that connection.
We aren’t here to convert anyone or convince anyone that our perspective is the only one. We’re just here to express and connect. And there are so many versions of that, as many as there are voices in the world.
Our job is to voice our thoughts and feelings, seek connection and work to build something. Looking for difference and trying to drown out the voice next to us (or make them feel less worthy) is an act of destruction.
What matters to me is that I leave the world in a better place than I found it. And I can only do that by bringing my unique contribution to it. A few years ago, I asked my young son, “Why do you think you are here?” And he answered, “I am here to be me.” That is truth.
We are all here to be ourselves, to the best of our ability. Things will certainly get in the way of that, and we’ll be tested in countless ways, but I believe this life is for us to discover and remove all the things that get in the way of being authentically ourselves, so we can be our best and connect with others.
“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” ― Rumi
I have my own internal barriers that I’ve created. They tend to lead to disconnection and separateness. I’m working on seeing them for what they are and choosing something different.
My intention for this year is to colour outside the lines. So, what does that mean? Colouring outside the lines can definitely trigger me, confirming the thought, I’m an outsider. or I don’t belong. When I’m triggered, it tends to lead me into very polarized ways of thinking…Either I conform, or I’m a rebel. Either I’m a cog in a wheel, or I’m alone in this world and need to figure everything out myself.
Once I can see those triggers for what they are, the intention of colouring outside the lines can also help me find beauty and connection wherever I am, beyond any limits.
The difficult work is to really know ourselves. That means getting quiet and listening to what is true in our heart (vs. our heads) on a regular basis, so we can understand who we are and what wants to be expressed. To know what it is that we are meant to contribute to the world – why we are here.
That work also involves identifying those internal barriers and gently separating from them. They aren’t real. They’re just thoughts that get in the way. Once we can see them for what they are, we can move towards greater connection – with ourselves and with others.
The bottom line is, we all belong. Always. No matter what our thoughts tell us. We all have our own truth. We need to do our work to discover it, remove our internal barriers and express it in hope of greater connection. It’s also our job to listen to the perspectives of others, connect where it is possible but also to see whose voices are being silenced, and do what is in our power to remove barriers to their expression too.
We each have so much to contribute. And every single voice is important in understanding how we can connect and build together to leave the world in a better place than we found it.